Do you believe in that there is a god? Growing up, I remember going to church with my parents every Sunday to listen to Father Augustine's sermons, saying my prayers before every meal and before going to bed, and always counting my blessings until I fell asleep. But here, whether I am digging tunnels to the enemy trenches or fighting in the front lines, no matter how much I pray, the God that promised to never leave his people refuses to show his face. Where is God now? Where is God when my comrades are blown into smithereens by the German artillery? Where is God when my brothers in arm are riddled with enemy bullets?! WHERE IS HE NOW?
Let me tell you, Melenar, there is no god.
There was no god when our division was ordered to capture Vimy Ridge when even the British and the French had failed. There was no god when the officers knowingly thousands of men were sent charging into the endless barrage of German bullets. And there was definitely no god when the officers decided to take this mission, expecting failure!
The Battle of Vimy Ridge was supposed to commence on Apr. 8 but was postponed a day. It was storming when we started creeping into our positions and as uncomfortable as it was, the storm provided cover for us. at exactly 0530 hours, all our artillery started firing and 30 seconds after, all of us engineers detonated the mines in No Man's Land and the ones planted under enemy trenches. I could not tell at the time but after the battle, we were told that the mines we had planted had destroyed a few German strong points. Immediately after that, hell broke loose and everything was a blur for the next three days. In the end, we managed to capture Vimy Ridge at enormous costs. Around 10 000 Canadian soldiers were wounded or killed and the number was still increasing. Needless to say, after experiencing that nightmare, there was no way anyone could try to persuade me that God existed. Not when my best friend that I had been eating with and fighting with the previous day is now dead. Not when body limbs are scattered all around us, detached from their bodies. Not when corps were littered across the field without care. No way.
Tell me now, Melenar, do you still believe in a god?
What if I told you that we fought for 10 days at Passchendaele in order to gain 7 kilometres of muddy land? What if more than 15 000 men died for these 7 kilometres? And that this was what we called "a victory"? That's right, more than 15 000 Canadian soldiers died in 10 days to gain 7 kilometres of muddy land. Where is your God, Melenar?
Honestly, I have experienced hell in the past few months and there is no other "underworld." I'll be punished for my sins, you say? By whom, I reply? By whom?
There is no god to punish me and if there was, he has forsaken us. Do not preach to me about your god, Melenar. I have no use for such nonsense. I have seen atrocities here that you cannot even fathom. I am losing my mind. Just drop it.
I hope you have been well. The boys too. Do not not bother praying for me.
Yours,
George Wright
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Sources:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Second_Battle_of_Passchendaele
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vimy_ridge
http://www.warmuseum.ca/cwm/exhibitions/vimy/index_e.shtml
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